After watching yet another episode of "A Baby Story" tonight where a couple decided to induce labor because the mom was 41 weeks along, I'm thinking we need a new way to express when a baby is due. Like an "arrival month" or a "possible week or birth." I know, those aren't good enough, but there's got to be something. Something that clearly communicates that we have no idea what day this baby's supposed to be born, but we're guessing it's probably in July.
The words the parents on the show tonight were powerful and really communicated that they felt like their baby had failed to arrive on time. "My due date was a week ago." "She's 8 days past her due date now." The beginning of the show was them keeping track of how late the baby was.
As the episode went on, they were at the hospital for the induction, she "failed to progress," the doctor told her that either the baby was too big or her pelvis was too small (not that the induction wasn't working) and proceeded to do a C-section that resulted in the birth of a 6 pound, 9 ounce baby (not too big, I'd think). It got me that the doctor assumed that there was either something wrong with the baby or the woman, not the way they were going about things. Nobody said, "Hey! Maybe you just weren't ready to have the baby and that's why you're not progressing!"
The show tonight illustrated how we need to move away from the idea that there is an actual day by which the baby is due. Healthcare providers who work with these moms need to step back and let the pregnancy be, as long as everything is going well with mom and baby.
Whether you're 38 weeks or 42, when your body goes into labor on its own is generally the time that your baby is ready to be born. I personally had three babies at 39 weeks and one at 40+3. I've attended births where the moms were 42+5 weeks and 41+1 weeks. Babies finish gestating on their own schedule.
My question is: What should be call the new "due" thing? What is a good way to tell people about when the baby will arrive without planting the idea of a date in the heads of parents and providers?
I think "arrival month" or "delivery month" works.
ReplyDeletelol, in the medical field, it's actually an EDC "Estimated Date of Confinement" Isn't that lovely? I always used an ETA based on 41 weeks.
ReplyDeleteIn Hypnobabies Childbirth Hypnosis classes we teach the moms about "guess dates" and emphasize it is really a "guess month".
ReplyDeleteI just found your blog and bookmarked it! I have a 5 month old and was induced at 41 and a half weeks from IVF (so there was no doubt it was the right timetable) and I was adamant that I didn't want to be induced! - but I got scared (they do scare you, don't they?) so I'm not sure if it was right or wrong (there was a little meconium in the fluid when they broke my water). In any event, I bookmarked you because of your previous post regarding twins too. We are going for more infertility treatments at some point and my chances of having twins are incredibly high with the technology we are using...but I had an easy time pushing my daughter out, so I'd like to try to avoid a c-section. It is incredibly hard to find doctors in the Syracuse area that agree with you philosophies though...do you interview every one until you find one? does your insurance pay for that? Further, I am stressed before we even start treatment because I'd like to (if I have twins and they are healthy and I am able to...) exclusively breastfeed and it seems hard to get them to let you do that with a singleton, let alone multiples. Anyway, I'll likely be calling you for advice and help with the birth. Glad I found your site!!!
ReplyDeleteBTW...my sister in law had two prior c-sections for failure to advance. This winter, with her third child, she went over the border to Vermont, hired a doula and had her son vaginally! She is convinced it was because she had the support of the doula. You guys are great.
ReplyDeleteHey Sue, you're welcome to call me with questions even if you aren't pregnant yet :) 443-690-6212
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